Gonna start by looking through THIS bad boy, the issue of Nintendo Magazine that came out when the N64 was launched! =D
First thing you see when you open the magazine, this odd minimalist ad for N64. ...This console is important? I think?
The first few pages are news. This is meant to be the launching of a NEW LOOK for the mag. ...Looks OK, I guess?
Time to start getting HYPED UP for 3D Zelda on 64DD...! <sigh>
There was SO MUCH HYPE for the 64DD. We were all like "I hope it's not crap! ...I hope it ACTUALLY GETS RELEASED."
Found it!
I WANNA WATCH A CRAP 90'S MARIO KART CARTOON NOW!!
OK, here we go! Feast your eyes on THIS beauteous sight! I got SO EXCITED when I first turned the pages and saw THIS!
Um... they call her "the lush Princess..." Were they trying to say "luscious?" Because "lush" implies something COMPLETELY different.
For the record, I completely buy that she is a "lush Princess."
Lots of images, not much writing. Love it! Makes the game look busy and vibrant. Websites today should look like this.
Even as a kid I knew that the magazine was more about ADVERTISING games than giving objective reviews, but meh. I LIKED being advertised to!
There's a weird trope of games mags to spend months previewing a game, building up to a BIG review. So this had been built up for a while...
Plus, there was a LOT of hype around 3D. Gaming basically wasn't interesting in 97 unless it was 3D. And this was THE 3D game, so BIG hype.
I never realised how many of these Mario images are him throwing a punch. I've never used the punch attack in Mario 64.
Oh dear... The review ends with erm... a big ol' advert for the 97 Phantom movie. Ew. Big fat ew.
But overall, that was a great review to look back at! I'm glad I read it as a kid. Stuff like this made games stimulate my imagination more.
Oh boy... The next review is Turok... Probably would have loved this as a kid. As an adult, I HATE shooting games.
From the "Press A to a life" school of sentence-writing.
Would enjoy Turok if your only weapons were flimsy against dinosaurs, like a knife and a bow, and it felt like a genuine fight for survival.
That's not what Turok was though. It was dull wandering and shooting with alieney guns. We rented it from the video store and it was BORING.
And what score did Nintendo Magazine give Turok...? NINETY-FIVE PERCENT!! THE SAME SCORE AS SUPER MARIO 64!! WHAT?!?
Right call though, magazine. Turok was bunk. And I'm not just saying that as someone who loathes shooters. IT WAS NOT AS GOOD AS MARIO 64.
The THIRD N64 launch game getting reviewed in this mag, after Mario 64 and Turok, is this VERY naff Star Wars game!
The idea behind this game, Shadows of the Empire, IS good: a game that covers the time between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi...
And this description DOES sound awesome in all honesty...
But MY GOD it was an underwhelming game. Not as painful an experience as the prequels, but given how sound the concept was, BIG let-down.
DEFINITELY NOT WORTH 86%, then OR now. ...Maybe 68%, then and now?
What this magazine DID do, which isn't so good looking back on it as an adult, was make kids bug their parents to DEATH for expensive crap.
I almost feel like retroactively apologising to my parents for bugging them to buy mad-expensive games for me all those years. I get it now!
The last launch game they reviewed was Pilotwings 64. It was good, I guess. It looked fun, kinda. It got 84%. ...OK.
Bless, but I don't think Cosmic is the enchanting little critter I want my children reading about.
The Tips sections of magazines were SUCH a big part of gaming culture in the 90's. You measured a good game by how many cheats it had.
Another major part of games mags were the chapter-by-chapter guides to games you would get every month. Here's DKC3.
As a kid I never had the wherewithal to beat games 100%, so collecting the full guide was a nice lazy way of seeing all a game had to offer.
Nintendo Magazine's reviews made you want to buy games, but guides made you more enthusiastic about playing games you already owned.
I had DKC3 for example, and knowing that there's a Lost World and a buttload of Banana Birds made me play it harder!
Speaking of things that shoulda been the greatest goddamn thing ever, it's Yoshi's Island 64!
WHAT WENT WRONG?
BIGGEST NON-BREXIT LET-DOWN IN HISTORY.
One last thing I spotted in this magazine, THIS game. Wow! Why didn't this come out in the West? I NEED to play it!
That was a damn good read! I remember Nintendo Magazine being kind of a trashy lad's mag, but the March 97 issue was actually quite classy!
It did it's job: I was HYPED for the N64, I wanted to get Mario 64 and I was definitely gonna buy the next year of issues following this one.
I loved this magazine's presentation. Even games like Turok seemed like SO much fun, and games felt like a vibrant, multicoloured hobby!
BIG question then: Should I have engaged with this as a kid?
YES. Not that the magazine was ALWAYS this good, but going on this issue, yes!
The one drawback is that it made me bug my parents silly for games, but my early fascination with an industry was fed by magazines like this.
And now here I am today, making games! Speaking of, play MAGMA BLAST for PC and Mac- Sorry, HAD to sneak that in there!
THE NEXT THING I'M GONNA TWEET ABOUT, LATER THIS WEEK, IS...
